To be fair my brain is known to take neutral information and turn it into dread. But I think this is also a cultural moment where parents love to complain about their suffering and choose to scare the uninitiated.
So I'd say that if a source is making you feel dread you should ignore them because no one knows what your experience will be like.
I was told that I would DEFINITELY FOR SURE - get insomnia in the third trimester ; forget how much labor hurt ; resent my husband. And those things did not happen.
Some of the hard things that I was warned about - sleeping less and the mood swings and the extra work - I've adapted to faster than I expected.
Some of the hard things that did happen were completely unexpected - the NICU stay, the amount of pumping I did in the first month.
Your experience will be your own, no one can predict exactly how it will go and how you'll cope.
To be charitable, I think that maybe some people are trying to "keep it real"? Maybe they went into parenthood very naive, expecting to just continue their old life but with a baby in tow, so now they want to warn others but they kind of overdo it?
I talked to one woman a few years older than me who thought she'd spend her 6 week maternity leave learning a new language and scrapbooking. She's now on her third kid, but had quite a reality check with the first.
But the takeaway message should be - everyone finds this hard, you're not alone or doing it wrong. It is a big change to your body, your relationship, your priorities, how you spend your time. Be patient with yourself. Ask for help. Set reasonable expectations (as in, every one is alive at the end of the day).
Pregnancy is scary & tiring enough without believing that the worst is yet to come. It's a different kind of challenge now, but it's not all bad. The end of the pregnancy symptoms is a relief; being on this side of childbirth is a relief; and it's really fun to get to know your baby.
