Are You Ready?

The 12 week appointment was today, and we could hear the heartbeat again. At this point, the chances of loss are about 1 in 800. It was a relief to make it to this point - we can tell people with joy instead of hesitation. It's basically the second trimester now. Maybe the next time I go back for the 16 week appt it will feel like a formality and not a terror-filled ordeal.

In addition to getting good news, Mr. Cat & I also had a great conversation with Doctor B. While trying to find the heartbeat with the Doppler, he said that the look on face means I "already have the heart of a mother. Even though I'm still young & cute." Also said I was skinny and healthy as can be, so that's good he's not gonna give me grief for gaining a couple pounds in the first trimester.

He also said that I had clearly done my research about prenatal testing options, and the safety of airport scanners, and that I was thinking about it all well. Says I should have been a nurse.

In addition to praising me, his attitude toward all the "rules" of pregnancy is refreshingly laissez-faire. He says that I should feel perfectly safe going through airport scanners, and that the bans on coffee and wine are ridiculous. (I'm glad Mr. Cat got to hear this from a doctor.)

And he said that Mr. Cat had a delightful smile and we were a great couple.

In the waiting room while I was still very worried that we'd get bad news somehow, I took some comfort in my thorough Google doc filled with questions for the doctor about several topics - travel, medications, prenatal testing. It was easy to read and I had it all in one place. There will be things that I struggle with as a new parent - the change, the unpredictability, the lack of sleep. But I am very good at acquiring information and remembering what I need to do, and this will serve me well.

A few nights ago I had a dream that was both very realistic and very comforting. My brain often serves up dreams that are very realistic but stressful - I'm out of town and am trying to find a way to get to work on time, I meet a celebrity I love and they think I'm really uncool, my teeth are falling out.
But in this dream, it was out first day with the new baby and everything was going well. My labor had been short and I didn't tear. I found a position (based on an article I'd read in real life) that made breastfeeding more comfortable. The baby was pretty chill and only cried when it was hungry and once when it spit up all over itself.
I don't think this is necessarily an omen that these will all come true for me. But it was nice to wake up and be, oh, on some level of my subconscious, I feel prepared and optimistic about this.

Usually my idea of being ready for something is to understand in advance all the steps of what's going to happen and rehearse for them. But since that's not really possible here, it's nice to have these experiences close together to make me feel like maybe I'm as ready as a person can be.