I used to be a lot more scared than I am now, so wanted to share some of things I've learned & considered (though not from direct experience)
-tv shows a really overdramatic version of labor bc they need the high stakes. most women start out unsure if they're having real contractions and not with a dramatic water breaking or medical emergency.
one of my sisters friends in med school said the OB rotation was her least favorite bc it was so boring!
-whether or not you decide to hire a doula, i'd strongly recommend attending some of the "birth bootcamps" they offer to the public. these classes were informative and very positive.
-also the whole existence of doulas! these kind & calm women have made multiple births themselves and find the experience so meaningful that they choose to attend other women through the process. if it was just torment, i can't imagine empathetic people would want to witness the process over and over.
-the doulas also say that most labors have an emotional arc, where you start out feeling excited and positive, and then hit a low point where you think you can't do it, and then kind of rally for the pushing phase with this animalistic power. so part of labor is intense physical pain, but that's not for every minute of it.
-the "vocalizations of labor" are be similar to sex or powerlifting. im sure its painful, but it can also be described as intense or effortful. like, tennis players can get pretty loud.
-ive been skeptical of the women who claim that your hormones help you "forget" how bad it was once its over. but my hormones have me so calm right now, and i wouldn't have believed that was possible either. i think there's some research that in addition to the runners high endorphins that are released during labor, there may be "cannibinoids" in the blood stream that have a similar effect to marijuana, so the whole process can seem fuzzy afterward.
-i think one of the worst parts of pain and medical conditions is the stress around it. is it really that bad or is it all in my head? if i call out of work, how much info should i share with my boss so she knows its a real sick day? should i cancel my social plans or hope i rally?
but labor at least, everyone takes the pain seriously and no one expects you to suck it up or multitask your way through it!
i keep coming back to that, the day i deliver that will be the only thing i have to do. no chores, no checking email, no worrying about being polite & tactful.
-this may be the only day of motherhood that you get a finish line and a gold star. you did it! the baby is out!
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