The Birth

stock photo, not my baby

Dec 5:
Mr Cat messaged me that he was coming back home because he forgot his wallet. About 5 mins later my water broke a little bit. No contractions, but that was an odd enough coincidence that he's staying home.
My instinct was to smell it. Primal data gathering!

Called Tepeyac and texting the doulas while on the weekly staff meeting conference call. They both called back pretty quick and said to hang out at home and let them know if anything changes. Marilyn asked if I was sure I didn't just pee myself and I said oh I know what that feels like, this was different.
(Plus it smelled more like sweat and not like urine. And also, peeing feels like a muscle release, even an involuntary one. This water felt kind of like someone just turned on a water fountain inside, only gravity moved it out.)

I'm definitely starting to feel "off" - a little lightheaded, kinda stoned, nauseous and hungry, my throat hurts? So there's some hormones (and maybe stress) happening, but no contractions.

What an early reminder that it's the baby with the birth plan. I didn't expect to have my water break before contractions but here we are! I hope I'm not introducing tension to my pelvis because I'm a little afraid of losing a lot in a big gush.
Contractions I understand are good, but losing the fluid now could be bad for the baby.

My mom was planning to come over for lunch & a sunwalk. So I called and said things are changing but also I think the best plan for now is still lunch & a sunwalk. It was a nice surprise to see her and have some calm time together.
She asked a couple times if it was really ok with the doctor that I was eating, but eventually let it go.

Meanwhile Mr Cat is bustling around vacuuming, hanging art in the baby's room, fixing me a snack.

Julianna & Sarah Salino sent me sweet followup messages about Clive Club conversations. I feel like a big cape of love will carry me through this!

Seems like the baby will arrive on either St Nicholas Day (Dec 5th evening or Dec 6) or his due date (Dec 7), so that's auspicious timing!

I feel kind of silly that I can't tell if I'm having occasional contractions. Maybe there has been mild Braxton Hicks for a couple weeks? Maybe I just took so much calcium lactate & raspberry leaf tea that I'm not in pain yet :p


Dec 6:
I no longer feel like I'm in labor at all. Grateful that I slept well through the night and have more energy and focus today than yesterday.
But we're back to the waiting game!

It's nice already to have the doulas. Marilyn keeps replying to my updates with encouraging things about rest & patience. And she doesn't seem to think my pace is weird or concerning, so that's good.

I'm glad I trusted my instinct to not tell siblings or friends yesterday. Telling the doulas and my mom that it was a false alarm is the right amount of communication.

Now Mr Cat has a sinus infection, enough that he's taken off work and going to urgent care for antibiotics. So maybe Marissa's deal that the baby wait til Sunday will work out for the best.

10 pm - the contractions start. I knew right away this was the real deal. Kinda like a period cramp but much more on & off. Took a shower and went to bed without saying anything. I prayed that I could sleep until at least 3am or so.
Around that time I woke up, no longer able to sleep through them. They were coming every 3 minutes for awhile, but still not very long or strong. I ate some food, texted the doulas, and then went back to sleep on & off until about 9.
Feel pretty luck with the timing of that!


Dec 7:
So the baby may arrive today on his due date. Or if he arrives tomorrow, then I will have been in labor the entirety of the due date, so that still kind of counts.
I've been in early labor now for 12-13 hours and it's very manageable. Eating, napping, walking, watching Lord of the Rings. I just hope this doesn't go on so long that I get exhausted before real labor happens. Ah well, I can always get the epidural.

It's 10 pm, the baby is not coming today.
Guess I'll repeat what I did last night - warm bath, melatonin, corn sack, and see if I can sleep through most of the night again.


Dec 8:
Stroke of midnight, my 26 hours of early labor (and one hour of sleep) ended and the real contractions began. I'd had some the day before that got closer together but these were more painful - my breathing and swaying did not do anything for the pain anymore.

I timed them for an hour, they were lasting a minute and 3 mins apart. Just lay in the living room staring at the Christmas tree. I called the OB, woke Mr Cat, made it to the hospital in under 30 mins at that hour.

I called the doulas on the way; they seemed surprised that I wasn't laboring at home longer, but I wanted to be settled into the birthing room before I reached the transition part.

Admitted around 2 am; I was so relieved when they confirmed that I was at 5 cm and fully effaced. Part of me was afraid they'd be like, nope still too early, go home like this for a day.

The nurses asked if I wanted an epidural and I said not yet. Lying on my back was the most painful contractions and I wanted to move around as long as I could.
At least two of them said that I was handling 5 cm so well, they thought I could go natural all the way. To hear that from the experienced staff was so helpful and motivating.

Active labor lasted until about 7 or 7:30 am. Cathy was amazing - got me in the bath and the shower, offered counter pressure on my back, did the 3 sisters and I could feel the baby descending as we went. I was happy to be finally making progress.
And then transition happened. I remember learning that this is when people hit a wall and think they can't do it, but it only lasts 30 minutes.
I was aware that mine had gone on more like 60-90 mins. I was barely getting a break between contractions. The pressure of the baby coming down hurt as much. I completely stopped my nice breathing and was screaming in the shower begging for the epidural. Cathy reminded me it would make pushing take longer. I didn't care, I was going to be too tired to push him out.
I kept saying something is wrong, it's taking too long, he's stuck.

They got the OB to check me who confirmed I was at 10 cm but my water hadn't broken. Offered to do that for me and such relief. I got maybe a 5 min break, which felt like forever, and then the urge to push.

The first few minutes were discouraging. I did not have the technique figured out, and the attitude of the staff went from supportive to tough love. I think there is a reason for this, I was no longer supposed to relax but had to enter beast mode, so them making me angry helped.
I pooped and peed on the table multiple times (but never puked!) I kind of shouted out a warning to people, but didn't care at that point. It meant I was pushing right.

In the end pushing took an hour but felt faster. I was glad then I was going natural.
It didn't hurt that much or maybe I was just numb.
But I could feel the progress of him descending and that helped me do it

The OB Dr Anderson, 2 weeks from retirement, saved the day again at the end.
His shoulders got stuck at my pelvic bone, came out the wrong angle.
The ob reached in & turned him before I knew what was happening.

I think I said something like why are your hands in me? But it didn't really hurt and it was over before I realized there was a problem. I remember feeling his little arms in a flurry as he came around and out.

They put baby on my chest for a couple minutes, cut the cord, and then took him to his baby station. He needed to go to NICU, but they brought him back for a second and he looked right into my eyes. I will never forget that moment.

I can't believe I did a long labor with complications natural. I don't know if I'd ever try it again. The doula helped so much, and Mr Cat was amazing. He stayed calm & positive, kept bringing me cold washcloths for my face and water to drink.
He even held one of my legs at the end of pushing, saw everything, and cried as our son was born.

The ob stopped by my room later and kind of discussed the delivery in a way that made me realize she expected me to be more traumatized by him getting stuck. So then I felt badass and lucky that I didn't feel worse.

I have a birth story to feel good about, and I think that will help my mental health in the days to come.