Week 1 - silver linings of NICU

The first week of motherhood was very different than I expected. I imagined a stillbirth, a preemie, a serious disability, a life or death situation.
But I didn't know that a calm NICU stay was a thing.

Inigo breathed in a bunch of meconium during delivery, and then got jaundice.
It made me sad to see him have so many medical interventions that looked uncomfortable.
But he was full term, came out crying & flailing, so there was never a doubt that he was gonna be ok in the end.

I waddled down to see him about 8 hours after delivery (the rooms were NOT close). He had a CPAP and a breathing tube and they asked me not to touch him since he'd finally settled to sleep. I was kind of like, aight, he's safe, I'm gonna sleep and process this in the morning.

The nurse in my unit wanted me to go in a wheelchair and I was like honestly that sounds bumpy I'd be more comfortable walking. And she's like ok but you have to at least hold the wheelchair because you're a fall risk. And I was like why? Because you just had an epidural. Oh no I didn't! *brushed shoulders off*

I was discharged Tuesday morning, 48 hours after delivery, but Bubbin was going to stay longer. So Lorenzo and I drove home with no baby and cried a lot. But I was so relieved to be going to shower & sleep in my own house rather than deal with the cluster feeding I'd heard about.

I recovered quickly from the delivery, probably thanks to the rest (and maybe the womb tea). Everyone who examined my abdomen commented that my uterus had shrunk back really quickly. My perineum stopped hurting after a couple days, even with a 2nd degree tear and stitches. One week later, I look kinda flabby or poochy but not pregnant - much smaller than I expected.

Hormonally, I'm all over the place, but I know that's normal.

So, chance for me to recover between birth and 24/7 new motherhood - such a gift.



The other big silver lining was spending several days in NICU watching and helping the nurses do diapers and feedings and burping and swaddling and soothing and a bath. Honestly, this should be standard for all new parents.

We were sent home knowing that he was totally healthy. But it was a tough transition from the medical regimen - weighing his diapers, checking his temperature and oxygen. There were all these wires in the way when we wanted to hold him.
At first, he couldn't eat at all because of the breathing aids.
And then those were removed but he had to stay under the jaundice lights, so every feeding was supposed to be done in 30 minutes.

A lot of our time in the NICU was watching him sleep in his medical bassinet, waiting for some to say it was ok to hold or feed him. We weren't even supposed to pick him up when he cried.

So to be sent home to keep him alive on cues and intuition, and no nurse we could call, was a big change.